When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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