So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
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Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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