It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
