whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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