walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
50% drunk capacity currently
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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