they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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