I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
