That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
