I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
