I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
