Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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