First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
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Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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