You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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