IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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