dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
