Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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