you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
