That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
