For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
