Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We named our party play list daddy issues
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
