I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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