great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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