the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
