Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
