I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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