It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
