didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
