talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
