I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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