This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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