why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
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Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
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Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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