Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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