nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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