How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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