WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
