"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
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I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
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Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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