Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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