What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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