The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
NoShamevember. You game?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
