Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
