I want to have your abortion
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
