Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
