a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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