Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
