im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize