you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
