I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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