hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize