he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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