OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize