He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
All I want is dick and wine.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize