rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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