ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
