I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
