but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
