i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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