There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
